free dating advice for women
I’m scared… I need advice?

I’m 24 and I have not dated seriously in about two years. I have interest in some people, and one man and I have plans to go out soon…

I am terrified of starting things because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I keep thinking.. what if I change my mind? What if I find that I am not attracted to him enough– and I’m also scared that I’ll try to hang in there and make myself find him attractive and then we’ll end up in an unhappy relationship. I know a lot of these fears are ridiculous, but I have them and can’t deny them.

I am a blessed, free woman and I love my life… so I’m just scared of painting myself in a corner. But I also realize that it is possible for me to have a partner to compliment my life and myself…

any advice or anything would be oh so helpful.

If you were my friend I would tell you to just date casually and have fun and not bother with a serious relationship at this time in your life.

At 24 years old why force yourself into thinking you should be dating someone seriously or having a partner to compliment your life??? Just continue being a blessed and free woman that loves your life, because I tell you the best is yet to come!

Your fears are your fears no matter how ridiculous you or anyone thinks they are. The fact of the matter is they are there and it’s pretty clear to me that you are not ready to be in a serious relationship. In fact most of your fears to me sound like it’s a result of either a bad experience you went through or witnessed or you simply don’t have any experience. And all of that would make anyone fearful.

Just remember it’s impossible to go through life not hurting anyone in any relationship in your life. I’m sure you’ve hurt your family and friends and they have hurt you back… this is a fact of life and relationships. Try not to be afraid of them, but think of them as a chance to learn and grow (sorry I have to mention this, because some people don’t get it…abusive relationships are UNACCEPTABLE and GET OUT ASAP)

Don’t force the relationship issue, enjoy life and don’t worry about finding a partner. Only you know what’s best for you, and when you are ready you’ll find someone and you won’t feel so afraid anymore. It just means you need more time to grow.

The most important thing is don’t settle for anything less than what you want out of a relationship/person (being reasonable that is, wanting your man to be a billionaire who can dance like Fred Astaire and have sex like a god wouldn’t be).

Having an attraction to your man is also important and I’m not talking about being good looking. Attraction to someone covers many levels, physical, emotional, spiritual etc… You should be attracted to the person you are with and you should NEVER make yourself try to feel anything that isn’t there. It’s not fair to you or the other person. If IT’S not there, then don’t bother wasting your time.

When you find a great guy that you are attracted too and that is great for you and you find yourself still scared and unable to be in a committed relationship…then maybe it’s time to talk to someone about it.

Good luck!

Dating Advice for Women #6: Three Irresistible Flirting Tips


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